What to do when the holidays don't feel very holiday-ish
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There’s been a theme this week as I’ve chatted with co-workers and friends. Nearly everyone feels behind on things right now. For many the stress is around gift shopping, for others it’s planning for holiday hosting and lots of family time. But the general consensus seems to be that someone hit the fast-forward button after Thanksgiving when we could all use a pause.
Not to go all Hallmark Holiday movie on you but there was a time (pre-children) when the holidays really did have a certain feeling for me. And I don’t just mean in childhood. Even in my 20s there seemed to be a notable shift into happy mode as the lights were being strung up around New York City and everything really was merry and bright. But, I’m a mom of two now which means this season has become one big to-do list. And as much as I love seeing my little ones’ eyes light up in December, between the 80 events, the decorating, the cookie making, the gift shopping, and the hosting, I feel like a tornado whipping around my house most days between Thanksgiving and the New Year. The last few years I’ve feel genuine relief on January 2nd when all is quiet and the crush of activities is over.
Suffice to say the holiday season hasn’t felt very holiday-season-y.
But it’s more than just the never-ending to-dos that have chased away the holiday feels. When you’re young so much positive energy is directed your way. Everyone around you is arranging things so the magic just flows this time of year. But as you age all that energy begins to flow not towards you but outward, directed with all your might into making the holidays work, period. At a team lunch this week we chatted about holiday plans and it was very clear that while there are things to look forward to this time of year, we’ve all got layers of complexity to contend with.
But being busy isn’t easy to fix. The advice to simply slow down and enjoy doesn’t really take into account that your presence at your kid’s holiday play or your office’s holiday party isn’t actually all that optional. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been thinking that the key to taking the stress of this time of year down a notch might just be creating a little of your own magic. Don’t roll your eyes! Let me explain.
I’ve done the lion’s share of my gift shopping online this year and last year. And, of course, the years before were Covid times so in-person shopping was strictly off the menu. Last week as I clicked around aimlessly looking for gifts I found myself increasingly frustrated. I stare at my laptop for hours on end for work and I had a nagging feeling that adding gift shopping to my screen time was doing more harm than good. In an effort to rekindle some holiday joy and to escape my electronics I announced to my husband that I was going to a neighboring town during our kids’ nap time for some shopping.
As I drove into the adorable downtown area of my destination, a literal horse-drawn holiday carriage drove by carrying a group of carolers who waved at me as I gawked like an idiot…I kid you not. I took it as a very good omen for my day of shopping. As I walked the side walks and wandered from shop to shop I encountered adorable families out for the day and not one, but two, live bands playing holiday music and jazz. The atmosphere was top tier, from the tunes to the sparkling lights on the lampposts. I discovered three new-to-me shops. I spent two hours shuffling around the cozy spaces, picking things up and putting them down, catching snippets of lively conversation, and enjoying a feeling of discovery. And as I was piling all my little finds onto the checkout counter at the last store I felt it—those unmistakable giddy little sparks that the holidays can provide when everything lines up just right.
There’s no Earth shattering take away this week. Only encouragement from me to you. Just a little nod to say that if you’re feeling more exhausted than ecstatic right now you deserve to make your own holiday magic. Go shopping in a cute town, get a massage, host a holiday brunch, steal a couple hours alone to watch horrible Netflix holiday movies. Let some of the energy you’re putting out flow back to you. Happy Holidays, friends.
Still thinking about…
(a few things haunting me on the Internet)
Resurrecting this unbelievably delicious Chicken Noodle Soup recipe from Alaina’s Instagram stories just in time for the cold nights we’ve been having
Swooning over these earrings that feature pearls in a fresh way
Emily Oster’s take on the good and bad of Elf on a Shelf, a particularly tyrannical holiday tradition I’ll simply never take part in
Swooning over all the coats from this new-to-me brand
Planning my holiday cookie baking around these, these, and these but also 100% making my favorite iced sugar cookies of all time her royal icing recipe is also the best I’ve tried