My years of magical thinking

Ok big thing to start with here—I quit my job this week. GAHHHHH!

I’ve been at the same company—a startup—for the past five years. In non-startup years that is equivalent to about 15 years. For the uninitiated, startups are both thrilling and taxing for the exact same reasons. Your input is impactful, you are expected to be both scrappy and innovative (think million dollar ideas with milk money budgets), you both get to and have to do more than you imagined you could at any given time—they are impossible and addictive.

But I digress. Let’s start at the very beginning and we’ll make our way back to the quitting my job thing.

Ever since I was a child I’ve believed that if I think about something too intently or say it out loud often, it will come true. The good and the bad. Earlier this year I was informed by my therapist that this belief that one’s emotions, thoughts, words, or actions can directly impact the course of real life circumstances in non scientific ways is called magical thinking.

To which I responded,“And that’s not real? *intent stare from therapist*…………….. “that’s bad?”

Turns out magical thinking does not necessarily “work” and while not the worst thing to believe in (says me), it’s also not great at times. After our conversation I did a little research into examples of magical thinking:

Rituals and traditions—fun!

Old wives tales and superstitions—honestly love those…..

Childhood thoughts—yes, makes sense

Delusions—definitely never had one of those…..

I pushed back on her a little for automatically bucketing magical thinking into the “things-to-be-fixed” pile (though to her credit she does this fixing gently). “What about people who believe in manifesting?!” I asked. And she, lovely woman that she is, went down a rabbit hole with me.

You see, when I think about manifesting, the loose definition that comes to mind is putting together some rituals (using mantras, making vision boards, etc…) and believing that those rituals will help the positive things you want for yourself to materialize. Sounds awfully familiar, eh? (*cough magical thinking).

So to recap, we have magical thinking which is bad-ish and manifesting which is accepted and loved by many but scientifically not very sound. As it turns out *drumroll and big reveal* most mental health pros categorize manifesting as a form of magical thinking. Imagine how all of Los Angeles will feel when they find out!

If you’ll recall, at the beginning of this year in a weird premonition-y moment far before my chat with my lovely therapist, we talked about manifesting here. We discussed my reticence about the whole thing but I also shared that I was committed to giving it a go and changing how I frame possibility in 2024. This is where the job thing comes in. I didn’t share my vision board at the start of the year because it felt too personal at the time but let’s take a look at one section of it (I know it’s ugly, be nice!)…..

In October I start a new job as the Head of Marketing and Sales at a women’s health startup. This is my vision come true. This is my promotion and seat at the table all in one. My career hopes made material. So what gives?

Back when I was debating magical thinking with my therapist she sent me this article. The writing is poor but the explanation of manifesting is worth digging into. The gist of the article is that while there is no scientific evidence for magical thinking or manifesting, there is very much support for the theory that aiming all your energy and momentum at a goal (whether through mood boarding, or speaking it out loud, or other efforts) can very much translate into you taking both conscious and unconscious steps to making that goal a reality.

“Importantly, this research suggests that if we truly believe we can achieve something, we are willing to do the hard work to achieve it.”
source

At the time, I looked at my mood boarding/manifesting exercise back on January 1st as an experiment. I was very skeptical but I was also committed to a little magical thinking. I tried believing (just a little!) that that ritual could indeed influence my next steps in life. But maybe the magic wasn’t in the ritual, but the energy it gave me. I began speaking my desire to work in women’s health to anyone who would listen. I put myself in positions to talk about it and to hear from folks in that arena. So was it manifesting? Was it simply hard work (after all, this desire to work in women’s health is years old for me)? Or are we all capable of a little magic?

I actually don’t think I want to know the answer. Rather, I’d like to believe in magic and in my own power to make things happen and I want you to do the same. After all, what’s wrong with a little magical thinking if it suddenly makes the world look full of possibilities.

I can’t wait to share more of this new journey with you. Talk soon!