Half Ideas

It's a new thing we're trying.

There are times I sit down to write this thing and all I’ve got is a spark of an idea. There’s nothing fiery in my belly waiting to get out. This is one such time. I was whining about it to my husband and he wisely said, “just write about all your half ideas.” And so, this issue is full of just little thoughts I’ve had over the last several weeks. If you like it maybe we’ll make it a regular thing. We shall see!

Also, thank you to everyone who texted and replied and chatted with me in person about the random snobbery issue. I didn't know that one would take off like it did and it’s been so fun hearing all your tiny little elitist ways. OK time to brain dump.

Sitting in bars with friends

A friend of 15 years visited me recently and we had a magical time. It was one of those rare trips where things just line up. We took a late morning train to Manhattan on a Friday. We walked leisurely over to the West Village, shopping as we went before stopping to have lunch at one of my favorite spots—Cafe Cluny. We sat at the bar and watched beautiful people buzz in and out while we sipped on martinis and Prosecco and ate overpriced sandwiches and shoelace fries. It was perfection.

Afterward we walked over to Little Island on the west side by Pier 55 and took in the sights. We dipped into Chelsea Market and were almost immediately overstimulated. When we emerged from the market I was starting to get a little hosting anxiety. This happens when people come to the city—I’m expecting them to be expecting a B.I.G. time—something fancy, something novel. Best city in the world after all. But my mind was blank. The weather was turning chilly and the wind was blowing. We’d walked about 12,000 steps already. So, instead of forcing it I tried my luck with something familiar. “Want to go grab a drink at one of my favorite restaurants in the city?” To which my friend replied, “Um yes!”

We walked into Joseph Leonard at an ideal time. The lunch rush was hours gone and the dinner rush hadn’t yet begun. I’ve gone to this restaurant every year on my birthday for the past seven years. There is not much I don’t love about it. The staff is always friendly, the atmosphere is warm and cozy, the drinks flow freely—what’s not to love?

We quickly snagged a coveted seat at the teeny tiny bar and proceeded to stay for five hours. There is something magical about sitting with friends in a really damn good bar for an unspecified amount of time. And we were feeling the magic.

The bartender cracked jokes with us, sang along to songs with us, charged my phone for me (bless her). A woman seated next to us overheard a particularly hilarious story we were telling and joined in on the conversation. A dear friend who lives next door popped down for some lively talking and even more drinks. Time stood still. The city shimmered and we sat inside warmed through with booze and laughing our asses off.

I’ve been thinking about how special and important it is to seek out those moments. You can’t manufacture them but you can prioritize familiarity, ease, and laughter for an afternoon. I need to do it more often. The halo effects of that dizzy, drunk, happy evening have stayed with me. There’s just something special about sitting in bars with friends.

The joy of doing anything but texting

One of my friends leaves me the best voice notes. They are sometimes funny, sometimes serious, sometimes thought-provoking, and they’re always so much better than a text message. I love a good group text as much as the next girl—I have about 5 going at the moment—but there’s just something about NOT texting that makes me happy. My sisters and I rarely go a week without FaceTiming. A couple girls from college and I used the Marco Polo app to send hundreds of video messages back and forth throughout the pandemic. I’m a HUGE fan of the catch-up-while-driving phone call. My morning daycare/coffee run has become prime time for a good old fashioned phone call. I’ve found myself wanting to text less and less. Maybe I’m getting old?! I hesitate to admit it but I’ve even left a few voicemails lately (a cardinal Millennial sin, I know!) just so I could convey the right tone of voice. I won’t be giving up the group texts anytime soon but I feel so much more connected when I’m communicating in almost any other way.

Finding your passion late

Some of you might know this but I am a certified lactation consultant. After a very traumatic birth with my first baby and struggling with breastfeeding postpartum I felt the most immense panic at how little I actually knew about maternal health and women’s health in general. I have always been a feminist and advocate for women but something changed radically for me after going through what I did (as things so often do for mothers that first time around). The American health system fails mothers so miserably day in and day out. Becoming a CLC felt like a little rebellion—a way to arm myself with knowledge I could pass on that might help someone avoid the pain and stress I went through. I did 50 hours of doula training and a semester long course plus practical exams and a seated exam for my certification and it unlocked more passion than I frankly know what to do with, even now. My certification is coming up for renewal this year which means I’ve got a lot of continuing education hours to complete. Which has me thinking a lot about what do with what I know.

I don’t practice as a CLC at the moment unless someone reaches out. I’ve had the pleasure of helping a handful of mothers in the last few years which I do for free as a small way to try and give back. But I want to do more, so much more. I think about what to do with this thing I found that I love and I come up with more roadblocks than next steps. To fully immerse myself would require so much change and would affect my family as well. So for now I like to remind myself that finding something that I care so deeply about well into my 30s (I know that that is not old, I knoooooow!) is a gift. And, though I would love to have a plan and a clear path for making using of that passion, I haven’t found it yet. All that to say, if you’re in the same boat….well….you’re not rowing alone.

That’s all for now! How did that feel!? I’m on the fence. Maybe I’ll keep writing down my little half thoughts and we’ll circle back soon. Until then, have a lovely weekend friends.

Still thinking about…..

Can’t stop swooning over the gorgeous food on this account.

Finally started this fantasy book series because everyone talks about it nonstop. But proceeding with caution because I hated this one that so many people loved.

Need to make this pasta immediately.

I can’t stop wearing the sweatpants I shared recently. So much so that I bought the matching sweatshirt.

Dreaming of these sold-out-everywhere heels. I neeeeeed.

As someone who bakes this gave me the biggest chuckle.